Working Together
The Goal
When we get right down to it, you and I want the same thing: To provide your child with the skills to be a successful, contributing member of society. Someone who will be able to live a full and happy life. We work tirelessly, often without a word of thanks, because we see the potential your child has.
I like to think of us as a pro basketball team. Your child is the star player (Michael Jordan) of the team. The star players are the ones who score the points and get the glory. However, no matter how good the star payer is, they won't win a championship without good teammates (Just ask Lebron James). That is where we come in. We are the grunt-players (Scottie Pippen, Luc Longley, et al). We are the ones that play good defense, get the rebound when the star player misses so they can try again, passes them the ball when it is clear they are ready for it, ETC. We all want the championship, and in order to win it, we have to work together.
I like to think of us as a pro basketball team. Your child is the star player (Michael Jordan) of the team. The star players are the ones who score the points and get the glory. However, no matter how good the star payer is, they won't win a championship without good teammates (Just ask Lebron James). That is where we come in. We are the grunt-players (Scottie Pippen, Luc Longley, et al). We are the ones that play good defense, get the rebound when the star player misses so they can try again, passes them the ball when it is clear they are ready for it, ETC. We all want the championship, and in order to win it, we have to work together.
"Let's agree: I won't believe everything your child says about you, if you won't believe everything your child says about me" - Dr. Harry Wong
That is a quote Dr. Wong says to parents at the beginning of each school year. It is not a criticism of any child or an accusation, but it does speak to a truth that is sometimes hard to hear. Namely, that even the most honorable students will sometimes stretch the truth.
Which is ok! Like I said, it isn't a criticism. Nobody likes to be in trouble and until they are older and more emotionally-developed, the knee-jerk reaction to an uncomfortable situation is to deflect or deny. For example, if you ask your child why they have so much unfinished work to complete that night, they may say, "Mr. Klee didn't give us enough time!" In actuality, it is likely the child wasn't using their time effectively. They are kids; sometimes that happens! That is not to say you shouldn't listen, just please understand that I in no way try to "pick on", or be unreasonable with, your child. Please do me the courtesy of contacting me before forming your opinion. |
Uplift all the adults in a child's life.
Ron Clark said, "One of the greatest ways parents and teachers can support one another, is by showing mutual respect. We need to work hard to keep our children positive and not feed into negativity."
I trust you to provide a loving and nurturing home for your child. I know we are fortunate enough to have great parents at Addison. In return, I ask that you please trust me to provide a quality education. I know that you have to take it on faith right now, but I am certain you will come to realize it to be true. I treat your child like family and will do anything I can for them. Please don't undermine my classroom by making negative comments about me or the school. Doing so grants permission for your child to not reach their potential. I will share a story of an example of how negativity at home influenced a negative experience at school. In my second year of teaching, I was constantly running into behavioral issues with one specific child. I would repeatedly redirect him, but nothing was working. Admittedly, I waited too long to act. I was still young and was nervous about making a negative phone call. I was concerned that it would look like I didn't know how to do my job. However, while trying to correct that child one day, I told him that I was going to have to call home. He looked at me and said, "Go ahead. My parents have a very low opinion of you. They can't wait to yell at you at conferences." Now, that is not the way this child normally talked, so I had to imagine that his parents were making a habit of saying negative things about me at home. By doing that, they were granting their child permission to be disrespectful at school. So that settled it. I called the parents and told them they would need to come in at their earliest convenience and we had a meeting. I plainly explained what their child said, and asked them to voice any concerns. It turned out, they didn't like the way I phrased my corrections on an assignment. They described the assignment, and I realized it was from the first week of school, some two months earlier! They actually brought the assignment with them and had been hanging on to it all that time! I explained what I meant and we realized it was just a misunderstanding. That moment stands out to me because if I would have had the courage to contact them about the bad behavior sooner, and if they would have had the courtesy to contact me immediately, we could have cleared it up right away. Instead, they remained frustrated and bad-mouthed me for two months, and I remained frustrated and had a negative outlook on teaching for two months. It was not my proudest moment, and I don't intend to repeat it. |
Allow your child to fail or take punishment occasionally. It builds character.
We have a strong impulse to want to shield children from any hardships or negative feelings. However, if students never have the opportunity to fail, they won't learn how to overcome failure later.
Similarly, if their behavior is constantly excused, they won't learn to take ownership over their actions. I used to work in a college admissions office. I cringe thinking back to all the times adult students would come into the office with their parents, and the parents would complain about a professor "picking on" their child, or how they should be allowed to re-do some assignment for a better grade. Insanely inappropriate, right? That is an example of "helicopter" parents who never gave their child the opportunity to solve problems or live with the consequences. That's not to say we should allow bad habits to form, but allowing for mistakes can be very empowering, and can even build self-esteem. Don't complain about the school on Facebook or social media.
I promise to never publicly speak about you or your child in any capacity, good or bad. It's tacky, and should be viewed as a breach of trust in our relationship.
In return, please refrain from publicly commenting about me, any student that is not your own, or any of the wonderful staff at Addison. It is hurtful and counter-productive to the goal we are trying to achieve. Posting an angry message may feel like you are just letting off steam among close friends, but in a small town it always gets back to the person. People are very pleased to screen-grab and show me negative comments. If you find yourself displeased with something, please come directly to me. I'm always willing to listen. |